Because It's For Sammy
by Scare4irony
Summary: Post AHBL2 - Five times Dean gave something up for Sam. EDITED just little changes


AN: Set after AHBL2.

* * *

**BECAUSE IT'S FOR SAMMY  
**

Sam sat down quietly on the dirt road._ 'Then tell me if I'm selfish.'_ Those words played in his mind...

**?_?**

"Dea me hungry," the three year old said, dragging his blanket around the house. He scratched his messy hair with his free hand and and once he finished grooming himself he patted his worn out blanket.

"Really Sam?" Dean asked confused. "You ate like ten minutes ago."

"Yeah, I want food!" Sam said excitedly. He trailed Dean talking about pointless things to fill in the silence. "I have a hurt, right here," he said, pointing at his unhurt knee.

"What were you doing kid?" Dean asked thrusting his hand in the drawer. He hissed as he drew his hand back and saw the small red slit that leaked with a few drops of blood.

"You have hurt?" the curious boy questioned standing on his tiptoes.

"Not Sam, I'm not hurt," Dean said placing the finger into his mouth. "Let me get a band-aid for you." Walking over he found the first aid kit and grabbed the last band aid. "Dad has to buy more stuff," he said absent minded. He stuck the band aid on Sam's knee and stood up.

"Dea, I still want food." Sam said bringing their attention back to his already bulging stomach.

Taking one last look at the bleeding finger that had subsided he stood up.

"Food!" Sam said running around the kitchen with his hands and blanket in the air.

Rolling his eyes Dean went hunting for lunch. Sam trailed behind him tripping on his blanket with his thumb in his mouth. "D'ya want Cocco Puffs?"

"Yay!" Sam shouted already grabbing bowls and spoons. Dean walked over and poured the cereal and milk into their respective bowls and pushed one of them in front of Sam.

"I'll be back in a sec, just going to the bathroom." Dean said walking off. Sam sat there swinging his legs and finishing his cereal. "Wow you finished already!" Dean exclaimed, coming into the kitchen. "You still hungry Sammy?" Sam nodded his head. "You serious?"

"Uh-uh,"' Sam said pulling open the fridge door. "Dea...where's food?"' Sam asked in his broken English. Dean stepped next to Sam, discovering that their fridge was empty. Sam walked around the kitchen pulling open cupboards and drawers. "No food," he said sadly looking down at his tummy. "No food," he repeated walking to the lounge room.

"Sammy." Dean walked over to Sam with his bowl in hand. "You can eat mine, I don't feel hungry." He sat down next to Sam and placed the bowl into his small hands. "Dad's back tonight with more food." Sam just looked at Dean not picking up the spoon."Eat up kid, you might grow taller than me." Dean coaxed. Sam's eyes went huge at the prospect of towering over his already big brother. Taking one final look at Dean, he picked up the spoon and shovelled the Cocco Puffs into his mouth.

Looking on in triumph, Dean stood up and walked into the kitchen. He ignored the loud rumble that came from the pits of his stomach.

**?_?**

The blizzard rushed through the little cabin that the Winchesters' were held up in. "I'm going to head into town," John said moving to the door. "Dad when can we get out of here? It's so cold. Sam's gonna get sick," Dean whispered quietly wrapping the scarf around him tighter.

John looked at Dean sadly and apologised. "Dean I promise as soon as possible, try and keep each other warm."

"Okay dad," Dean said watching John stiffen his back as he became guarded. Dad was gone and Sir was back. "Keep your eyes peeled, shutters and doors locked, be careful, you know where the weapons are, and most importantly look after Sam."

Mutely Dean nodded his head to the familiar phrasing, watching his father disappear through the front door. Sighing he hopped on one foot to the other desperately trying to keep warm. His green eyes took in the dismal room.

"Sam, you okay buddy?" Dean asked running to the couch.

Sam stared out the window nodding his little head numbly. "It's-s-so cold," he chattered, rubbing his arms.

"Sit in front of the heater," Dean said jumping up and down. Slowly Sam scooted off the couch and scrambled across the frozen wooden floor to the tiny heater. His eyes widened in fear as the metal heater proceeded to splutter against the war of the cold. "Crap," Dean mumbled incoherently. "Sam, why don't you get ready for bed?" The younger boy nodded sadly and walked off into the bathroom. Dean stood in front of the heater giving it his best glare. "Worthless piece of junk." He kicked the heater in anger. Dean set off to find alternative ways to keep warm. "I'll make hot chocolate!" he yelled, walking briskly into the kitchen. "Sam do you want marshmallows?"

"Okay," Sam said walking into the kitchen with his oversized pyjamas. He winced jumping up and down, trying to feel his toes.

Suddenly Sam started to rub his neck. "Sam you okay?" Dean looked in the bag that carried vanilla marshmallows.

"I can't feel my throat and then I can, and it hurts!" he whined.

Unwrapping scarf, he pulled it off and wrapped it around Sam's neck. "That better?" Sam hugged Dean waist feeling the left over remnants of his big brothers warmth on his neck. "It's not that cold Sam, you must be a wimp." Dean dug ignoring the defiant pout of the little boy that was still wrapped around his waist. Finally he was able to shrug Sam off. Sam walked over to the counter top and peered over the bench to watch Dean.

Dean laughed and went back to fixing the drinks. Plopping two marshmallows in Sam's mug he handed it over to the brown eyed six year old. Gratefully Sam cupped his hands around the steaming mug. "Ahh," he said in contentment,"I can feel my fingers....aren't you going to have any marshmallows?" he asked staring at Dean who was sipping his unmarshmello-ised hot chocolate.

"There were only two left," Dean said. Sam's face fell slightly looking down at his mug, and the goo of the marshmallows that had melted in the milky liquid. He looked back at Dean and the grin that accompanied the ten year olds face. "I prefer mine without, so it's cool," Dean said.

**?_?**

"Sam will you just sit down and look after yourself?" John asked Sam frustrated while tending to Dean's flu.

"I'm fined," Sam said. His congested nose made it difficult to talk. Huffing he tried again, "I'm fined."

"Sam, people who are fine don't say fined." John smirked taking the thermometer out of Dean's mouth.

"Sammy you're sick too so shut up." Dean said groggily, making a gesture to the empty bed next to him. Sam sat down and shivered, sharing the flu that he had caught from his brother. "This blows," the fourteen year old teenager coughed.

"Why'd you lie 'nd sayd you werened sick?"

"Sam," Dean growled from underneath John scrutinising glare. Sam shrugged.

"Now I want you both to eat soup tonight, no junk. Dean? Sam?" John said sternly looking from one son to the other.

Sam nodded his head. The motion causing his stomach to turn and do somersaults. "I thinkd I'm going..." Sam moaned as he moved to get out of bed and attempted to rush to the bathroom. He didn't make it and vomited on the sheets that surrounded him. John stood up in alarm an grabbed the bucket located near Dean's bed.

"That's it Sam, let it all out son." John said soothingly patting Sam's back. "I'm going to get you boys some stronger meds, the first aid kits completely empty." Sam's vomiting slowly subsided. "You okay kiddo?" Weakly Sam put up a thumbs up from underneath the bucket. "Can you walk?" A nod of the head. "Do you want to get cleaned up?" Another nod. "Okay." He helped Sam up into the bathroom. The boy leaned against the basin while he went and threw the sheets in the laundry that they had gotten.

Sam came back into the room and John departed to the pharmacy. "You cold Sammy?" Dean asked watching Sam shiver in the bed next to him. "Your fever came back." Dean stated taking in Sam's flushed cheeks and sweat ridden hair.

"I'm fined Dean." Sam said.

"Like hell you are," Dean said standing up and covering Sam in his blanket. He removed his hoodie and placed it on Sam's chest.

"Wad aboud you, you've god a fever too?" Sam questioned snuggling under the new warmth.

"My fever's gone and I'm not cold." Dean lied getting into his bed.

**?_?**

"Mr Winchester, it says here that you would like to leave school?" the principal asked the young man.

"Yes sir, that is correct," Dean replied taking the seat that was offered to him.

"May I inquire as to what has influenced your decision?"

Dean thought about his response. He was eighteen years old and had a couple of months until the end of the school year. Money was non existent and Sam still had to go to school. John went to hunt God knows what somewhere and they needed the money from a steady job. "I just don't feel like school is the place to be, Sir. I still have to look after my brother, and I already have a job lined up," Dean lied.

"Dean," the principal sighed removing his glasses from the bridge of his nose. "Exams are in a couple of months, you grades are exceptionally above the required standards. Why not finish out the year? Universities would fight to get a student like you."

"With all due respect, it doesn't matter. I have a responsibility to my family, Sam, he needs to be at school. If he wasn't he'd drive me up the wall,"Dean chuckled. Noticing the principal's lack of jolliness Dean stopped. "And I need to do this," he added sternly.

"Dean does Sam know about this?" Dean nodded his head, this was another lie.

A knock at the door interrupted their conversation. Dean's eyes bulged out and he looked between the principal and the door. "Sam, come in," the principal said warmly to the younger boy, "take a seat next to your brother."

"Dean what are you doing here?" Sam whispered out of the corner of his mouth. "More importantly what am I doing here?" he added staring at Dean who looked as bewildered as he did.

Dean gave a helpless shrug and prayed that the principal wasn't heading where it seemed like this was going to go. "Sam, your brother has told me some interesting things." Sam sat there dumbly. "Do you think Dean should quit school?"

The question came completely out of left field for Sam who sat there opening and closing his mouth like a fish in need of air. "I-I don't know, Sir. It's Dean's decision."

The principal blinked a couple of times before dismissing the Winchesters. "Dean, its been a pleasure knowing you and I hope to see you again soon," he said reaching out to shake Dean's hand. "You're doing a good job, looking after your brother while your father's away. I hope the job goes well." He turned to the stunned Sam. "Sam keep going with your studies, you have promise." He led them to the door and closed it behind them.

Outside Dean paced in front of Sam. "Ok, what the hell just happened?!" Sam asked pointing to the principals office. "You really quitting school? Dad's going to go ballistic!' he shrieked.

"Sammy calm down, dad's not going to find out. You aren't going to tell him," Dean said.

"Go back inside and tell him that you reconsidered!" Sam said loudly, glancing up at the clock he started to walk out the door, back to class. "Why are you doing this?"

"We need the money, I have to keep you in school." Sam tried to speak but Dean beat him to it. "I'm going to be fine, I was probably going to fail anyway. Go back to class Sammy, I'll see you at home." Dean pushed Sam through the door.

**?_?**

The tension that hung in the air was icy and deadly considering the events that had taken place in the last two day. Sam couldn't believe what Dean did for him. "You sold your soul!"

"I know Sam," Dean said gritting his teeth.

"You sold your soul!" Sam repeated loudly, now he turned in his seat so he faced Dean from side on flailing his arms around madly.

Dean winced. "No matter how many times you say it Sammy, it's still going to be true," Dean said earning a glare from his brother.

"Are you freaking insane?!" Sam yelled. Dean stared hard at him giving him his patented, 'You-want-to-run-that-by-me-again,' look. "One year Dean! You got one year! Are you insane?!" Sam repeated. "Selfish bastard," he muttered underneath his breath. That was the last straw, it really was. Dean slammed the brakes. He got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side door. Sam saw the anger that seeped from Dean's body as he wrenched open the door and pulled him out by the collar of his shirt. "Dean what-"

"Shut up and listen to me and you listen to me good Samuel Winchester!" Dean said using Sam's whole name. Sam winced, he hated it when people used his whole name, especially when it came from either his dad's or his brother's mouth. "I did this to save your life, I did this so that when this damn thing is over, you can go back to school and lead the life you wanted." Dean's intense green eyes were ablaze. Sam tried to squirm under his brothers tight grasp but Dean pushed his body against Sam so that he could make his message clear.

"Dean, let go of me!" Sam squeaked, it was all he could manage due to Dean's arms being painfully located across his throat.

"No Sam, not until you listen. I gave up my soul because I had to protect you. It's been the only thing I know and I've done it for nearly eighteen years. I may seem selfish but I want you to think, really think about what I've done." Dean let go of Sam and walked back to the drivers seat. "Then tell me if I'm selfish."

Sam sat down quietly on the dirt road. _'Then tell me if I'm selfish.'_ Those words played in his mind. He leaned his head against the door and pulled his knees up close to his chest. He contemplated everything that Dean did. In their lives as kids, teenagers and even everything that happened to them now. This was when the realisation hit him. He was the selfish one. Everything Dean did was for him. When Dean was skin and bones it was because Sam was chubby and full. When Dean dropped out of school Sam went on to get a full ride from Standford University. When Dean was sick and nearly caught pneumonia Sam was making a full recovery from his ailment. Now when Sam lived, in a years time Dean would die.

Dean sat stewing over his actions and how badly he had reacted to Sam's words. Sighing he banged his head against the steering wheel and grasped the handle pushing open the door. Sam didn't turn his head at approaching footsteps. He sat down next to Sam and patted the younger hunters knees. "Talk to me Sammy, please?" Dean pleaded, punching his brother lightly on the arm. Sam looked down at his arm and then at Dean. "I have one year, what do you say we go to the Grand Canyon...or Vegas?" Dean asked seeing Sam work his jaw and look past him.

"Not in the mood," Sam said sniffling, "I'm sorry for the crap I've put you through." He stood up and got into the car. Ignoring Dean's attempts to lighten the already dense mood Sam used his words against him. "You said it your self, 'what's dead should stay dead,' how am I any different?" Sam asked turning his head to the window.

Finally reaching the driver's side door, he slid in and turned the ignition. "You're the exception." Dean felt nauseas thinking about the hellhounds that were going to rip him apart.

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AN: Supernatural is coming back to Australia on Monday!! Leave reviews. Scare4irony.


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